Edit: It has been over a year since I wrote this post. The system went down again, but I am building it back up.
[Update:I wrote this post back in December. It is 2/8/23 at the time of me writing this. The system's been working, but not for the planner lol]
So, I bought a planner. I own many empty, barely-used notebooks and planners, but I bought two new ones. Now, if you have ADHD, you might have rolled your eyes or maybe felt a twinge of second-hand embarrassment. You probably know how planners are often recommended to us to help with managing our lives, yet many of us struggle to actually put it into practice. I had a hard time using a planner in school, which is where almost all of us are introduced to them, but when I actively did use the thing it actually helped tremendously. I’m choosing to end my insanity, and do something different this time.
I came across a TikTok sound on my For You Page that really shifted my perspective on those of us living with ADHD. The sound was a piece of Dr. Russell Barkley’s lecture at the 2012 Burnett Seminar. In the snippet, I heard Dr. Barkley explain how the brain is made up of the back part - where you learn, and the front part - where you do. He states that ADHD essentially disconnects those two parts of the brain from each other. The part that knows what to do has a hard time communicating to the part that does what to do. Then I heard him say “Your problem is not with knowing what to do, it’s with doing what you know” and that blew my mind.
Now, I did not get an ADHD diagnosis until I was 22 years old, but since learning more and more about how the disorder can present itself (especially in women), I’ve felt like I’ve gained so much understanding of myself. Growing up, I dealt with spurts of feeling extremely motivated and productive, to feeling completely burnt out and lazy. When the new school year would come around, I’d feel the excitement and would look forward to using my planner to keep track of my new classes and assignments. And for the first marking period, I’d make Honor Roll - piece of cake. But every year like clockwork, when the second and third marking periods would come, my grades and energy toward school would start to dwindle - so much to the point that I start earning C’s and even a few D’s (And F’s once I got to college, but that’s for another blog). But once the last semester would come, because of the time crunch to get my average grades back up and rapidly approaching Summer, the motivation and productivity would come back and I’d end up back on the Honor Roll.
For YEARS, I wondered why I couldn’t just maintain and keep up my grades throughout the school year. Spent so many years sad and resentful toward myself because my GPA could have been so much higher if I’d just kept up what I earned in the first quarter. And it was never a situation where a class got harder or I struggled with the materials, it was just my energy would slump and my brain would shut off around the same time every year. Now knowing how ADHD impacts me, it all makes so much sense.
So, what about the new planner? Well, I believe I felt called to buy one because I’m starting a new “school year” with the launching of my business. But of course, running a business doesn’t really work like going to school. All the responsibility and assigning of tasks falls on me now. So, how am I going to make it work this time? Well, I intend to implement a system (or a few), and to make it accessible for me. It’s always easier to say it than to do it, especially as someone who is neurodivergent. So, I plan to make my system ADHD friendly.
As I'm writing this conclusion, my 3 year-old son will be starting school. I am extremely excited for him, but also excited for what this new structure could mean for me as well. I intend to take advantage of the routine, and habit stack with things that I'll already be doing to prepare my son for the day. I really hope it works. Matter of fact, it will work. Why?
Because I Said So.
Asé Ó
Comments